Saturday, 8 July 2017

Know More About Fibroids

More than two million women worldwide are operated for hysterectomy every year and approximately one third, that is, 6,00,000 are performed because of fibroids. So what are fibroids? Fibroids are noncancerous growth of the muscle wall of the uterus. Fibroids behave differently depending on their size, location, number and associated disorders and hence have a unique behavioural personality. 30 per cent of women have fibroids and a large proportion of these will become symptomatic later on.

Know More About Fibroids 

FIBROIDS THAT CAUSE BLEEDING
PROBLEMS 

Large fibroids in the wall of the uterus, multiple fibroids and fibroids near the inner lining are responsible for heavy bleeding. The normal uterus has two basic ways to stop this bleeding.The first is the blood clotting mechanism that works throughout the body by forming plugs in the blood vessels. The second is unique to the uterus, which has an ability to contract and squeeze the bleeding vessels in the muscular walls. The presence of fibroids possibly does not allow the uterus to squeeze down properly, and so it can’t stop the flow of blood from the vessels and thus it is common for fibroids to cause an increase in the amount of menstrual bleeding.


FIBROIDS THAT CAUSE PAIN 

Fibroids grow because they receive blood flow from the arteries supplying the uterus. They grow at different rates. Some slowly and others quickly. When they grow at a very fast rate, the blood vessels feeding the fibroids may not be able to supply enough blood, resulting in cell death in some parts of the fibroid. This is called degeneration. Due to this degeneration, chemical substances are released that cause pain. This pain can be severe and incapacitating but usually not associated with any other serious problem. An extremely large fibroid can cause pelvic discomfort and a dragging pain continuously. Such fibroids need to be removed. Medicines like anti-inflammatory agents can take away the pain and provide temporary relief.


FIBROIDS THAT CAUSE URINARY PROBLEMS 

The uterus lies directly beneath the urinary bladder and they are partially attached at one point. If a fibroid begins to grow forward, it may push the bladder so that it cannot fill properly, this increases the urge to pass urine frequently. Very large fibroids may obstruct the ureters (which is the tube that carries urine from kidneys to bladder), thereby resulting in back pressure changes in the kidney. Such large fibroids definitely need to be removed.


FIBROIDS AND INFERTILITY 

A small group of fibroids may not allow pregnancy. Fibroids that are located close to the inner endometrial lining and those, which distort the uterine cavity can be responsible for infertility. Also very large fibroids can interfere with pregnancy. These fibroids can be easily treated with hysteroscopy (telescope inserted inside the womb). Larger fibroids are removed laparoscopically.

(telescope inserted inside the womb)


FIBROIDS THAT CAUSE MISCARRIAGE 

Some fibroids, especially the inner lining ones, can interfere with the growth of the developing embryo. These change the internal milieu resulting in a miscarriage. Such fibroids warrant removal hysteroscopically. During pregnancy, fibroids also grow faster.


FIBROIDS AND CANCER 

Fibroids by definition, are benign (non-cancerous) growths. However, very rarely, fibroids can undergo cancerous changes. The incidence is 1:750. Out of all women who have surgery for fibroids one out of approximately 750 would have leiomyosarcoma (fibroid cancer). The treatment in such cases is removal of the uterus and the ovaries if the patient is over 50 years and if her fibroids are growing rapidly.


FIBROIDS THAT RECUR 

Once a fibroid has been removed, it doesn’t come back. However, new ones can grow from other muscle fibres. Clinical recurrence occurs in 15-20 per cent of women within 10 years. The recurrence of fibroids does not depend on the technique with which it was removed the first time, but it is solely dependent on genetic tendencies. Women with only one fibroid in the past have a lower recurrence rate, while those with multiple fibroids have a higher recurrence rate. Fibroids that come back can also be treated laparoscopically.


FIBROIDS THAT CAN BE OBSERVED

If the fibroids are not very large and without bothersome symptoms a patient can wait. She must get an annual pelvic examination and sonography. If the fibroids are growing rapidly and symptoms appear, laparoscopic removal is advised. Fibroids must be dealt with judiciously and if surgical treatment is necessary, endoscopy is the answer.

Saturday, 3 June 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Helping Relieve Sexual Tension

A friend of mine — a single mother — has a physically challenged son suffering from cerebral palsy. She wants to know if it is OK for her to masturbate her son as he is unable to do so himself. Is it OK for relatives/siblings to help relieve sexual tension by masturbation? If not, what is the correct solution?
- ABC

ASK THE DOCTOR - Helping Relieve Sexual Tension


It is absolutely not advisable for relatives to masturbate the physically challenged person suffering from cerebral palsy. Only he can know his sexual needs, their nature and their intensity, if at all. His ability to understand his sexual needs and the necessity to relive his sexual needs cannot be assessed or guessed by anyone from outside. He may or may not be experiencing any such need physiologically. If an erection is noticed in such an individual, it need not always be a sign of sexual arousal. An erection can happen periodically in men irrespective of sexual urges. You may confuse and even torment the physically challenged person by attempting to masturbate him.

This situation can also be taken advantage of by a ‘sick’ relative who may be carrying a fetish similar to pedophilia and may sexually abuse the child under the garb of relieving the child’s sexual tension. The sexual tension built in a person does get relieved naturally through periodic nocturnal emissions.

Friday, 2 June 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Unable to sustain an Erection for Long

I am a 51-year-old married man. My erection does not sustain for long. What can I do?
- Kothari

ASK THE DOCTOR - Unable to sustain an Erection for Long


This is a form of Erectile Dysfunction (ED). There are many organic (physical) as well as psychogenic causes for this problem. It is necessary to find out the cause of this problem first, through history taking, examination and investigations. Once the cause (diagnosis) is found, treatment can be advised. Very effective drugs, Sildenafil citrate and Tadalafil, are now available in India for the complaint of inability to ‘sustain’ the erection. Remember, these drugs cannot bring about erection in a flaccid penis. They only help to ‘sustain’ the existing erection longer.

These drugs are useless in those who have difficulty in getting an erection. It helps only those who get an erection ‘on their own’ but cannot sustain it long enough to perform satisfactory sexual intercourse. You could be benefited with these drugs. However, neither can you get these drugs without a proper prescription by a qualified specialist, nor should you take it on your own. There are risks involved in taking them; and unless you are guided by a qualified expert, kindly avoid selfmedication.

Thursday, 1 June 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Is Discharge in Adolescent Girls Normal?

Is vaginal discharge in adolescent girls a normal phenomenon? Does it happen due to fungus or infection?
- D M

ASK THE DOCTOR - Is Discharge in Adolescent Girls Normal?



Most adolescent girls get a sticky, white discharge from their vagina. This is a perfectly normal and healthy sign that the pubertal changes have begun in you. Sometimes, this discharge can get on a girl’s underwear. It is good to pay close attention to your normal discharge and how it changes during your monthly cycle so that you can recognise any unusual signs or changes. If you closely pay attention, you will notice that the discharge is not always the same. Sometimes it may be clear while at other times it may be a bit whitish. When you are ovulating, it may become clear and slippery.

A female’s vaginal fluids/discharge also alter when she gets sexually aroused. If the discharge becomes thicker or heavier, changes colour to yellow, green, rusty or brown, or causes burning or itching in the private parts, it is suggestive of an infection. Foulsmelling discharge, and pain or bleeding in the vagina when you are not in your menstrual period, are also signs of infection. If you experience any of these changes, you will need to see a doctor.

Wednesday, 31 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Sex During the Menses

Is it true that if a virgin is suffering from severe pain during her menses for a long time and she has sexual intercourse, it cures her problem? Is sex during the menses responsible for developing sexually transmitted infection?
- P.K.

ASK THE DOCTOR - Sex During the Menses


There is absolutely no truth to the rumour that sex cures menstrual pains. In fact, sex during menstruation can increase the risks of getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV. Menstrual blood is a rich medium/environment in which bacteria and viruses can grow very quickly. If a menstruating female has sexual intercourse with a male who has an STD, she is more likely to get infected than during other times of her monthly cycle. In addition, she is likely to get a more ‘serious’ infection when she is menstruating.

This is because the opening of the cervix (mouth of the uterus) is wider than usual so that the menstrual blood can flow out. The STD germs can travel up into the uterus and fallopian tubes and can cause an infection high up in the female reproductive system. This can result in ‘infertility’. For the male, having sex with a menstruating female is also risky. If she is infected with HIV, her menstrual blood will be rich in HIV viruses.

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Fantasy of Rape

I am a 25-year-old married woman. Very often I indulge in a fantasy of being raped by someone. I read somewhere that all women carry this fantasy in their mind. Is it normal to have such thoughts?
- R.Shah

ASK THE DOCTOR - Fantasy of Rape


It is true that there are some women (not all) who at some point or the other in their lives carry the fantasy of being taken sexually or being swept off their feet. These fantasies are common but not universal. This idea is played up a lot by some western fiction, pornographic literature and even the mass media. It is important to note that there is a great difference between a self-projected fantasy and an actual rape. Fantasies are our own creation, and thus we have control over it. It can be a great ‘turn on’ for some, but it is not the reality. In reality, rape is a violent act, forced and unwarned, over which a victim has no control at all.

Very often it is seen that a fantasy is necessary when there is a lack of emotional intimacy between partners and sex is merely a physical activity. Therefore, both you and your husband need to deeply examine your relationship, either on your own individually, or with the help of a good counsellor, to determine what can be done to enhance the emotional intimacy so that such fantasies are not required.

Monday, 29 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Does size Matter?

I am 22 and my fiancé is 27. We will be getting married in November. Recently my fiancé made a confession to me that his penis is small in size; that worries him as to whether he will be able to satisfy me through intercourse. I would like to know whether it is true that satisfaction of a woman depends on the size of the male penis?
- Savita

ASK THE DOCTOR - Does size Matter?


A large number of men carry the complex of small penile size. The size is invariably thought to be the parameter for one’s manliness and one’s ability to satisfy his partner. First of all, the woman’s satisfaction does not depend on the size of the penis. On the contrary, too big a penis can be a problem, as it could hurt the partner. The fact is, that only the outer 1/3rd of the woman’s vagina (approximately 2 inches) is sensitive to sexual stimuli. So, it doesn’t matter to a woman how deep one reaches during the intercourse. If an erect penis is even 2 inches, which is usually the case with most men, it is enough to satisfy his woman. It is not the size, but what you do with what you have, that truly counts.

In men too, only the ‘Glans-penis’ (the front portion) is sensitive to erotic sensations. The shaft behind the glans is incapable of feeling erotic sensations. So the pleasure of the male partner too, does not depend of the entire length of the penis, but depends only on the sensitivity (and not the size) of the glans-penis. A common mistaken belief that a flaccid penis gains in size on erection, in proportion to its flaccid size, causes this fear. The fact is that, though all the penises are different in their flaccid state, they become much more similar in size, when they get erect. Also, one tends to find his penis small as it is always seen from above, as against that of others, which is observed from the side or from the front. The different angles from which the penis is viewed also makes the penis ‘appear’ small or big, as the case may be.

Sunday, 28 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - How do I know if my wife is satisfied?

I will be getting married this year. I wish to know wether women experience orgasm and ejaculate during sex? How can I know whether my wife has reached her orgasm and is satisfied?
- Navjyot




Girls/women lubricate at the vagina on arousal. On either sides of the vaginal opening, women have the Bartholin’s glands, in four o’clock and eight o’clock positions. These glands secrete a mucus-like fluid during sexual arousal, providing vaginal lubrication. Women too experience orgasm/climax, however they do not ejaculate like men during orgasm.

The only way to know about her orgasm/satisfaction is to ask her verbally and then believe her answer. What feels good to her is best assessed by her and known only after experimenting and experiencing. Let her be equally active during sex and she will guide you to her satisfaction.

Thursday, 18 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Treatment for Premature Ejaculation

I am a 45-year-old man. I have been married for 14 years with two kids.I want to know what is the treatment for premature ejaculation? I am suffering from it. Kindly reply.
- Vettikunnel

ASK THE DOCTOR - Treatment for Premature Ejaculation


Premature Ejaculation is not a physical problem, but a ‘learning disability’. There are no medical causes for premature ejaculation. It is essentially of a psycho-behavioural and relational origin. Modern medicine does not offer any drug treatment for this problem. Ejaculating early is a learned reflex response that can be effectively re-conditioned when a man and a woman actively learn ejaculation control together. You need to increase your awareness of the sensations of arousal building so that you can identify the level of your arousal. Secondly, awareness of sensations of arousal and ejaculatory control can be learned by following a step-by-step process. We teach couples the use of the ‘squeeze technique’ or the ‘stop-start technique’. Besides techniques, certain ‘exercises for sphincter control’ and ‘use of condom’ may help in some cases.

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Is Watching Porn Normal for a Married Man?

My husband who is a pharmacist has great faith in your words and your knowledge. He watches a lot of porn. I hate it. He says it helps him to stay interested in sex. We argue often over this matter. He calls me abnormal. Kindly answer who is abnormal — him or me?
- H K B

 ASK THE DOCTOR - Is Watching Porn Normal for a Married Man?


It will not be correct to call either of you normal or abnormal. You are simply different from each other. Both of you have a right to choose what you like. Give that freedom to each other.

It is definitely a sign of sexual immaturity when one looks for excitement in pornographic films or literature. For such a person, sex is only skin deep. He is not adequately sensitive to the psychological and emotional components of sex. Counselling could help him to mature sexually and even otherwise.

 Let me add that outside inputs are necessary when there is a lack of love between partners… when sex is merely a physical activity. This lack of love cannot be blamed on only one partner. Love happens between two sensitive human beings. Both of you need to deeply examine your relationship, either on your own individually, or with the help of a good counsellor. Meanwhile, at least stop looking down upon your husband. Change your focus from him to yourself. Ask yourself what you can do to bring more depth into your relationship and make it more than sex — a sharing of intimacy.

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Involuntary Ingestion of Fluids

During cunnilingus, there is involuntary ingestion of vaginal fluid. Is it harmful? If so, what preliminary preparations do you suggest before the act?
- Sunita

 ASK THE DOCTOR - Involuntary Ingestion of Fluids


If vaginal fluids are contaminated with infective agents (bacteria, virus, fungus) it can transmit infectious diseases during cunnilingus. Certain fungal, viral infections and parasitic infestations are commonly present on the genitals and may not be visible to the naked eye. A person may be harbouring these infections without manifesting any signs or symptoms, and oral sex could cause transmission of such infections to the partner. HIV/AIDS can also get transmitted through cunnilingus if either of the partners is infected. If the person is truly not infected with any STD, in that case swallowing vaginal fluids involuntarily may not be harmful.

Monday, 15 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Painful Intercourse

I am an 17-year-old girl. I have tried for the first time to have sexual intercourse with my boyfriend but just as he tries to insert his penis in my vagina, I get an extremely severe pain — so I ask him to stop. Please tell me, is it normal to have so much pain during penetration? Is it safe to let him continue the act anyway, irrespective of my pain?
- Kajal K

ASK THE DOCTOR - Painful Intercourse


Many girls unconsciously carry an apprehension about penetrative sexual intercourse and therefore are unable to comfortably respond during the first few experiences of intercourse. This may also happen because her emotional involvement in this relationship is not yet ‘ripe’. If there is unbearable pain, do not force yourself into the act. You may cause harm/injury to yourself. A tight hymen also can cause this problem. For this, you require an examination by a gynecologist.

Also remember that there is always the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy and STD once you go all the way, even if you are using contraception.

You are just 17. Don’t rush things. Grow and relax in this relationship. Know each other better. Sex will be more comfortable and pleasurable as you and your relationship matures.

Sunday, 14 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - If the Blood Groups of Both Husband and Wife are the Same, can they Both have Children?

If the blood groups of both husband and wife are the same, can they both have children?
- Lakdawalla

 ASK THE DOCTOR -  If the Blood Groups of Both Husband and Wife are the Same, can they Both have Children? 


It is a myth that people with the same blood group cannot conceive. Having the same blood group is perfectly fine. Fertility does not depend on blood groups or matching of blood groups. Blood group matching in a couple is given undue importance by some illinformed people. It carries importance only to the point, that if ‘Rh factors’ of both the partners are not matching, it can be harmful for the second child of the couple. However if such incompatibility is known beforehand, precaution may be taken to avoid any harm to the second child. An injection of “Anti D Immunoglobulin” to the mother immediately after the birth of her first child (or first abortion) is all that is required to prevent any harm to the subsequent pregnancy.

Saturday, 13 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of a Vasectomy?

I am a 45-year-old man with two children. My wife and I do not want to have any more children. I am planning to go in for a vasectomy operation soon. I want to know the advantages and disadvantages of a vasectomy.
- J Gonsalves

  ASK THE DOCTOR  - What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of a Vasectomy?



During a vasectomy (male sterilisation surgery), the tube that carries sperms (vas deferens) from each testicle is clamped, cut or sealed. This prevents sperms from mixing with the semen that is ejaculated from the penis. An ovum (egg) cannot be fertilised when there are no sperms in the semen. The testicles continue to produce sperms, but the sperms are re-absorbed by the body. Because the tubes are blocked before the seminal vesicles and prostate, one still ejaculates about the same amount of semen. Sexual desire and erectile function remain unaffected after this surgery.

Advantages: Vasectomy is a ‘permanent’ method of contraception (birth control method). Once your semen does not contain sperms, you need not worry about using any other contraceptive. It is a shorter, safer and cheaper procedure that causes lesser complications than ‘tubal ligation’ surgery in women.

Disadvantages: The procedure MAY cause bleeding or infection under the skin, which may cause swelling or bruising. In extremely rare cases, the vas deferens grows back together (recanalisation), and the man becomes fertile again.

Friday, 12 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - First Time Anxiety

I am frightened of having sex with a man. I fear that I will freeze up and freak out and not perform on my part. When having sex for the first time, does it hurt when the man breaks the hymen?
- Nisha

ASK THE DOCTOR - First Time Anxiety 


Sex is not about performance. Sex is a continuation of the communication you have with your partner. Yes it may hurt the first time, however this is transient. Moreover, it can be greatly minimised by helping each other relax, and if adequate foreplay is done to prepare each other for intercourse. A good foreplay in a relaxed atmosphere produces good amount of lubrication at the vagina, and that minimises the pain. Do choose a partner who you trust, feel comfortable with, and with whom you can communicate. Sex is really more about intimacy. Sex just for the sake of sex is somewhat empty. If you love him it is easier.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - My Son’s Masturbation Disgusts Me!

I accidentally saw my 14-year-old son masturbating one day. The whole scene filled me with disgust. Since then, whenever I am with my husband in bed, the sight of my son masturbating comes as a flashback and I get filled with disgust. I cannot get involved in a sex act with my husband due to this. My interest in sex has declined severely since then. My relation with my son is also affected greatly. He is not aware that I saw him that way. What should I do?
- Surinder

ASK THE DOCTOR - My Son’s Masturbation Disgusts Me!


You need to understand two things. Firstly, there is absolutely nothing wrong if your son masturbates. Practically all boys at around this age masturbate. It is an absolutely harmless act. It helps them to organise their sexual urges and patiently wait for a heterosexual encounter while they are still growing towards becoming responsible and mature men. Science has proved that masturbation has no ill effects on one’s bodily or sexual strength. It is only when the child is made to feel either guilty or fearful about the act, that it weakens them psychologically and affects their self image.

Secondly, you seem to have a certain bias about sexual expression, which is filling you with ‘disgust’. There is nothing disgusting about self-pleasuring (through masturbation) in one’s privacy without involving anyone else. At this age, when your son’s secondary sexual characteristics are developing as an inevitable process of nature, he can find no better outlet than masturbation to vent his sexual urges. His behaviour is a manifestation of him growing independent, which is a signal to you that he is no more your ‘baby-boy’ dependant on you for all his needs. You, as a mother, need to ‘let go’. Respect his growing independence and individuality. Love him for being a normal, growing, independent man.

Your intimate relationship with your husband is a completely different aspect of your life. It has nothing to do with your being a mother. See this objectively, and then it will not interfere with your sexual relationship with your husband.

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Can Women Experience an Orgasm Through Masturbation?

Male masturbation is often discussed in books and magazine articles, but female masturbation is never spoken or written about. Kindly explain how women masturbate? Do they insert any object in the vagina? Can they experience an orgasm through masturbation?
- R Pinto

ASK THE DOCTOR - Can Women Experience an Orgasm Through Masturbation?


Women and girls masturbate in many different ways. They may either knead their clitoris with their fingers or massage their vulva against something like a pillow or a bolster, soft edges of furniture or stuffed toys. Some women use a water spray, vibrators, dildos or some other sex-toys to stimulate the sensitive areas of their vulva. The vagina plays a minor role in the masturbation practices of women, however vaginal insertion is by no means unusual, uncommon or rare. Just as in men, fantasy commonly plays a key role in a woman’s masturbation activities. The brain is the most important and primary sexual organ and as a result physical stimulation alone is often not adequate to achieve orgasm. If care is taken to maintain hygiene, and if self-stimulation is done gently without causing any injury to the genitalia, and if it is done in privacy, then it is a harmless activity, which helps release the sexual tension in women in the absence of a partner.

Tuesday, 9 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - What is the HIV Window Period?

How important it is to get an HIV test done before marriage? What is window period?
- Anindita

ASK THE DOCTOR - What is the HIV Window Period?


People are fast becoming aware of HIV testing before marriage. However, the majority still does not know about the ‘window period’. If a person is infected with HIV, then the blood test (Elisa test for HIV antibodies) comes positive only after around three months. The initial period of three months, when the test is negative is known as the ‘Window Period’. This is a dangerous period, as it gives the false impression that a person is HIV negative, and the infected person can give the infection to others through unprotected sex. I strongly recommend two HIV tests with a gap of three months before marriage.

Besides HIV, it is also necessary to test for one more fatal disease that is transmitted sexually — Hepatitis-B. A carrier of Hepatitis-B appears healthy outwardly but could transmit the deadly disease to the partner through sexual contact. Syphilis, though fully treatable, is a dangerous sexually transmitted disease if undetected. It is particularly notorious as it plays hide-n-seek with the patient giving him/her false signals of self-recovery, while it is progressing in the body. Thus a ‘VDRL test’ or ‘TPHA test’ for syphilis is a must in all the check-ups before marriage.

Monday, 8 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Combined Birth Control Pills

What are ‘combined birth control pills’? Are they the same as oral contraceptive pills? or they are something else? How does one take these pills? How effective are they? Can they protect woman from STDs? Can any woman take it? Are there any precautions to keep in mind while taking these pills?
- Kulkarni

ASK THE DOCTOR - Combined Birth Control Pills


‘Combined birth control pills’ contain two synthetic female hormones — estrogen and progesterone. They act by stopping ovulation (release of an egg), thickening the cervical mucus to block sperms at the mouth of the uterus, and by making the lining of the uterus thinner — to prevent implantation of the fertilised ovum (zygote). The pill has to be taken very regularly from the fifth day of the menstrual cycle, one every night for 21 days. The pill does not protect a woman against STDs. The pill may add to your risk of ischaemic heart disease, including hypertension, blood clots, and blockage of the arteries. If you are over the age of 40 and if you smoke, or if you have a previous history of blood clots or breast cancer, you may be advised not to take the contraceptive pill. The pill is 95 to 99 per cent effective in preventing pregnancy if used correctly. If you choose to use a contraceptive pill, you will require a prescription from your doctor and periodic visits to your doctor to ensure you are not having any ill effects of the pill.

Sunday, 7 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - What is Molestation?

What is the meaning of molestation? What is the difference between sexual abuse, sexual harassment and rape? What are various behaviours, which come under these? I have undergone a horrendous incident when I was eight. An elderly man touched my private area (genital area) while he was handling his own genitals during a travel. Can you explain this behaviour?
- Subhadra

ASK THE DOCTOR - What is Molestation?


Molestation is touching a woman who is not your wife without her consent. It is punishable as per the section 354 of the Indian Penal Code (1860). As per sections 375 and 376 of IPC, it is rape when intercourse (penetration) is performed on a woman (who is not your wife) against her wish. If the consent for intercourse is taken under threat, or in an intoxicated state or under disguise, still such an intercourse is considered as rape. Intercourse with a woman (who is not your wife) below the age of 16 even with her consent is considered as rape as per the Indian Penal Code. If your wife is below the age of 15, then intercourse even with her consent is legally regarded as rape. Sexual abuse means forced sexual intimacy, with or without penetration, with a person of any age and sex, against her/his wish. Sexual harassment is a phrase used when a woman is psychologically pressurised or tortured, using one’s position, forcing her to give her consent for sexual favours. A man who touched you when you were eight, must have been a sexual pervert suffering from pedophilia.

Saturday, 6 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Is it normal for a Married man to Masturbate?


My husband has confessed to me that he often masturbates fantasising about other women. Is it normal for married men to masturbate in spite of having a willing partner around? According to me, we share a normal sexual relationship. So why does he find the need to behave this way?
- Rani 

ASK THE DOCTOR - Is it normal for a Married man to Masturbate?

Most married men masturbate, irrespective of the status of their sexual relationship. According to the survey conducted by the University of Chicago on ‘Sex in America’, published in 1994, married people are more likely to masturbate than people living alone. Those who have sex the most, masturbate the most. Some other factors also need to be considered. Partners have different degrees of sexual drive. When one partner wants sex more than the other, masturbation is an acceptable and understandable alternative. Some women are upset, even outraged, if they find their partners masturbating. If masturbation is preferred, and used exclusively as a sexual outlet, instead of intercourse, there is a problem in the relationship and it should be addressed together with a counsellor. 

It is definitely a sign of sexual ‘immaturity’ when one looks for excitement in fantasy etc. For such a person, sex is only skin deep. He is not adequately sensitive to the psychological and emotional components of sex. Counselling could help him to mature sexually and even otherwise. Let me add that fantasy is necessary when there is a lack of ‘love’ between partners…when sex is merely a physical activity. This lack of love cannot be blamed on only one partner. Love happens between two sensitive human beings. Both of you need to deeply examine your relationship, either on your own, or with the help of a good counsellor. Change your focus from him to yourself. Ask yourself what you can do to bring more depth into your relationship and make it more than sex — a sharing of intimacy.

Friday, 5 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Helping Relieve Sexual Tension

A friend of mine — a single mother — has a physically challenged son suffering from cerebral palsy. She wants to know if it is OK for her to masturbate her son as he is unable to do so himself. Is it OK for relatives/siblings to help relieve sexual tension by masturbation? If not, what is the correct solution?
- ABC

ASK THE DOCTOR - Helping Relieve Sexual Tension 


It is absolutely not advisable for relatives to masturbate the physically challenged person suffering from cerebral palsy. Only he can know his sexual needs, their nature and their intensity, if at all. His ability to understand his sexual needs and the necessity to relive his sexual needs cannot be assessed or guessed by anyone from outside. He may or may not be experiencing any such need physiologically. If an erection is noticed in such an individual, it need not always be a sign of sexual arousal. An erection can happen periodically in men irrespective of sexual urges.

You may confuse and even torment the physically challenged person by attempting to masturbate him. This situation can also be taken advantage of by a ‘sick’ relative who may be carrying a fetish similar to pedophilia and may sexually abuse the child under the garb of relieving the child’s sexual tension. The sexual tension built in a person does get relieved naturally through periodic nocturnal emissions.

Thursday, 4 May 2017

DON’T FEEL SHY OF YOUR DOCTOR

Communicating well with your doctor is very important for proper treatment but many people feel shy. Read on and find out what you should keep in mind when you go for a check-up



When it comes to the care and maintenance of your own body many of us either wait too long to seek medical help or become conscious while telling the doctor about the problem. Fear, embarrassment and lack of assertiveness result in communication breakdown that can jeopardise your health even more. But you should not wait too long. Keep these things in mind while going to the doctor.




DON’T WAIT TOO LONG BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO VISIT 

You know your body the best so you can easily make out when you are about to get a cold, have a splitting headache or if you pull a muscle. But what if you experience something you’ve never had before or if a condition seems to persist longer than you remember it did the last time. Then it is clear that you need to visit the doctor as soon as you can.


GET RID OF YOUR SHYNESS 

Many people feel awkward or shy when the doctor examines them, even when they are fully clothed. They feel awkward discussing the irregularities of certain body functions and especially on matters related to sex. What they fail to recognise is that not only have doctors seen a lot of naked people during the course of their practice but they have also treated whatever problem is currently causing such embarrassment. If you are really feeling uncomfortable describing your symptoms to the doctor then write them down before you go, along with the specific questions that are concerning you. Your practitioner will be sensitive to your feelings in this regard and can then proceed to ask you questions that will minimise your having to talk.


BE HONEST 

The purpose of a medical examination is to see how your body is functioning and to diagnose the problem. Some people are so shy that they lie during the test. For example some people visit the eye doctor and tell the doctor they can see clearly even if they are not able to. This should be avoided. It is very important for you to be honest with your doctor because he is the one who will treat your illness. Lying to him or hiding things from him can worsen your problem. If your physician asks you something make sure you are honest because you are giving him critical information that will yield the right cure. And remember that there is nothing you can tell them that they haven’t heard before.





USE SIMPLE LANGUAGE 

Doctors don’t really mean to intimidate us but somehow they always do. In the course of describing your condition and how they plan to treat it, they may use complicated medical terms that you may not follow. If you are confused about something or you have not followed what they are saying then ask them to repeat it in simple terms. Ask the doctor to explain to you the condition in detail so that you are aware of what is wrong with you. The same goes with understanding the particulars of taking a prescription drug. If the dosage instructions aren’t clear or if warnings aren’t heeded they can end up doing more harm rather than good. As far prescriptions go, be sure to read that small print on the label before you ever leave the drug store and ask the pharmacist or doctor to explain anything you don’t understand or that isn’t addressed. You have to be careful about this factor.


TAKE A SECOND OPINION 

If you are not happy with the way your doctor is treating your problem or if it is of sufficient seriousness to warrant a second opinion. Don’t feel shy about asking for a referral. Many patients are hesitant to do this in person out of fear that they will offend their doctor. Your doctor is as concerned as you are about establishing a good relationship with you so if you don’t trust the doctor there is no point going to him. You will tend to resist his/her recommendations and hence not get cured soon. If you want a second opinion, you are entitled to one and should not be hesitant about inquiring about another doctor.

Whatever you do remember one thing – don’t feel shy of your doctor because at the end of the day you are trusting him with your life.

Saturday, 11 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - How and When Should we Educate Children about Sex?

How and when should we educate children about sex? How much do we tell children? If we tell them too much too early, will it not cause any harm to their psychology? Will it not encourage them indirectly to experiment and become sexually active? Kindly answer this important question in detail.
- N P



It is extremely important to help children feel comfortable about their sexuality from the very beginning. This will prepare them and make it easier for them to ask any question about sex without inhibitions throughout their lives. As they grow, parents and teachers can give them correct and useful information to help them make healthy and responsible decisions about their sexuality. Invariably parents are concerned that telling children too-muchtoo-soon will harm them in some manner, or will provoke and encourage them to become sexually active early in their life. It is necessary to understand that education and information do not encourage children to be sexually active prematurely. On the contrary, children make better decisions about sex when there are no restrictions on what they can ask and talk about at home and when they have all the necessary information they need.

Furthermore, this makes them better equipped at protecting themselves against sexual abuse, incest, molestation, sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy. However, there is information that is more apt for children at particular ages. For instance, five-yearold child should know the correct names for his/her body parts, including sex organs, and that his/her genitalia is a ‘private’ part which should never be touched by anyone. Such training at an early age can help to prevent sexual abuse, which is widespread in the society today. Kindly note that it is not necessary to have a major discussion with your children each time they ask a question related to sex. It is necessary to listen to them carefully. They may just need the answer to one question right now; and that is perfectly all right. Be certain that you are answering the question specifically, rather than lecturing or talking in general terms. You can always clarify decently if you are not sure what your child is asking. Make sure that they know that they are most welcome to ask follow-up questions.

Friday, 10 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - What is Meant by ‘Cervical Erosion’?

What is meant by ‘Cervical erosion’? Kindly give reasons and treatment for the same.
- K. Androth



Cervical erosion (also known as Cervicitis) is often caused by infection, but also sometimes by a foreign body (IUD string, Tampon etc) or chemicals. It causes heavy vaginal discharge, sometimes with foul odor. The discharge may range from yellow, gray, brown to even green, occasionally with a tinge of blood. Pain may be experienced during intercourse or when the cervix is touched with a tampon. It is advisable to ascertain the cause of the infection, which could be Bacteria (Gonorroea, Chlamydia etc), Fungus or Trichomonas Vaginalis infestation. The PAP Smear test should also be done to rule out any precancerous condition. Once the cause is identified, specific treatment can be administered. In cases where the condition persists, ‘Electro or Diathermy Cauterization’, laser or cryosurgery may be considered, which destroys the abnormal tissue on the surface and induces healing and growth of new tissue.

Thursday, 9 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Male Sexuality and Female Sexuality?

Can you describe the difference between male sexuality and female sexuality?
- Miranda



Male sexuality is body oriented. Men get sexually attracted to the body of a woman. They need not have any love for her. That is why men go to prostitutes and are interested in seeing the woman’s anatomy displayed in ads, movies, magazines etc. As against this, female sexuality is very heart oriented.

The woman gets sexually attracted to a man only when she loves him. Just a handsome, muscular look may draw her attention but is not enough for her to get sexually aroused or attracted to the man. It is said that ‘man gives love to get sex and woman gives sex to get love’.

However, it may be noted that all men do not have male sexuality in them, they could be having female sexuality i.e. such men would be heart oriented and sensitive. They would need love as a base for a sexual relationship. Likewise, all women do not have

female sexuality within them. Such women would be body oriented and get sexually attracted merely by the physique of the man. (thus the presence of gigolos i.e. male prostitutes and magazines displaying the bare male anatomy)

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Fibrous Cavernositis

Kindly explain about the condition ‘Fibrous Cavernositis’ of penis. I have not been able to find any information about this condition anywhere. Kindly give treatment options for the same.
- Dr N Kulkarni



‘Fibrous Cavernositis’ (also known as plastic induration of the penis or Peyronie's disease), is characterized by the formation of a plaque or hardened scar tissue (fibrosis) beneath the skin of the penis that causes pain, curvature, and distortion, usually during erection. The treatment choices for patients with ‘Fibrous Cavernositis’ are very limited. The objective of treatment is mainly to maintain normal sexual function and relieve pain. Invariably, surgery is the only effectual treatment, and as Fibrous Cavernositis may simply resolve by itself, doctors often suggest waiting for one or two years before going for this option. The non-surgical treatment should be implemented within six months of the onset of the symptoms and before the plaque has calcified. Para-aminobenzoate tablets (B- complex substance) and Vitamin E capsules can be taken for few months. A calcium channel blocker such as verapamil, an enzyme (collagenase) that breaks down connective tissue, and steroids such as cortisone can be injected into the plaque or delivered by ‘iontophoresis’. Iontophoresis is a painless method of delivering medication to localised tissue using an electrical current.

Tuesday, 7 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘Is Loss of Semen Harmful?’

Is it harmful in any way to lose semen is sleep or through masturbation? Does it affect the sexual or physical health of a man? Please answer in detail.
- Javed



Semen is simply a mixture of the products of three glands. Secretions of the seminal vesicles constitute 60 per cent of semen, and the secretions of the prostate gland constitute 30 per cent of the semen. Sperms constitute only 10 per cent of the semen quantity. These glands function throughout your life and continue to be capable of producing their secretions. Some boys worry that if they ejaculate too often, they will reduce the amount of semen in their body. They worry that they may run out of semen and won’t have enough when they need it. This can NEVER happen. A man will make sperms and semen from the start of puberty till his dying day.

Monday, 6 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Artificial Lubricants

Is it safe to use artificial lubricants with condoms during penetrative sexual intercourse?
- Imran



Condoms are made of latex or polyurethane. Most of the available condoms are pre-lubricated. For additional lubrication, waterbased or siliconebased lubricants are safe to use with condoms; however, oil-based lubricants are not safe as they weaken the latex and can damage the condom making it unsafe. Strictly avoid using petroleum jelly, cooking oil, butter, baby oil or sun tan oil as lubricant with condom during penetrative sexual intercourse.

Sunday, 5 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Unsatisfactory Sex Life

I am a 40-year-old lady having undergone a tubectomy 16 years ago. For the last 10 years, my husband is not able to satisfy me due to lack of an erection and premature ejaculation. I have noticed that my vaginal opening is slowly narrowing due to the thickening of internal muscles and I also feel tenderness in my breasts. I definitely do not look for extramarital sex, despite my sexual urge which I have to control. What could be the physiological changes in my body?
- Suneeta




Unsatisfactory sex life may not cause any physiological changes in your body. It could disturb you emotionally (psychologically) and may cause some psycho-somatic symptoms, however, it depends on the intensity of your feelings of disappointment and deprivation. The changes that you have observed need to be examined and investigated. They could be due to hormonal changes in your body irrespective of the status of your sex life. They could also be due to approaching menopause. Get yourself examined by a gynaecologist for a clinical evaluation.If your husband is suffering from erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, I wonder why he is not getting himself treated. These are treatable conditions in a majority of cases, and he should approach a qualified sexologist for help.

Saturday, 4 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘I Feel Guilty Indulging in Sex’

My husband and I have been married for about 17 years. We are both spiritually inclined. We read a lot of spiritual books and we also practice meditation together. Of late I feel extremely guilty every time we indulge in sex. The passion during lovemaking makes me feel like a beast. My husband also feels the same. We both try to control aggressive moments and actions during sex, but it becomes very difficult at times. I feel extremely low about myself at the end of the every sexual encounter. I think something is going wrong somewhere. Do guide us to understand what is happening to us?
- N Salaskar



You seem to have learned that spirituality and sexuality are in opposition. Many so-called spiritual streams regard ‘sex’ as an obstacle or a distraction on the spiritual path. This is a myth. Sex is one of the natural instincts in us, gifted to us unasked, by existence. It is as normal and healthy as other functions of the body. True spirituality teaches the seeker to accept all aspects of life. Life is an invaluable gift, to be accepted in totality. To reject or condemn any aspect of the gift of life is in a way trying to improvise over existential wisdom. The passion during lovemaking is as existential and divine as the desire to pray and meditate. You can’t reject one and accept the other. It is the same energy that manifests itself in both the expressions. Don’t fight with nature. Feel free to express yourself ‘naturally’ during lovemaking with your husband. It is a culmination of the love that exists between you and thus a divine act. Sharing of intimacy does not make you less spiritual. The self-condemnation and the guilt that you are experiencing are more harmful to your spiritual growth than the natural passion.

Friday, 3 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘Is There a Cure For My Sex Addiction?’

I am a 26-year-old depressed guy. I am frustrated with life and feel suicidal. The reason is that I am unable to get an erection and I failed to perform intercourse with three girls. They all left me due to this. I am addicted to pornography since I was 19. I have been masturbating like crazy since several years. Can I be cured of my problems? Is this ‘sex addiction? You are my last hope. Please answer fast.
- P K



Your extreme frustration and thoughts of suicide are serious signs that require urgent medical attention. Do consult a psychiatrist at your earliest. Masturbation per se does not affect the sexual capability of a person, however the ‘obsession’ of masturbation can affect your body-mind in many ways. You have admitted your addiction to pornography and being obsessive about masturbation. This behaviour falls under the category of ‘sex addiction’ which definitely can lead to sexual dysfunctions. Once you are settled with the acute nature of your frustration and suicidal thoughts, do consult a sex counsellor to get some help for your sex addiction.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘When and How are Sperms Produced?’

I teach biology in school for classes seven and eight. I also teach a chapter on the reproductive system. Students ask a lot of questions about sperms — when and how are sperms produced? Where are they produced? How do they look? How long do they live? etc. Kindly enlighten me on this matter.
- Manisha



Sperms are produced in the ‘seminiferous tubules’ of the testes. Each sperm is made up of an oval head, a middle piece and a tail. An average sperm measures 50 microns ie 0.05 millimetre. The sperm takes about 74 days to be formed in seminiferous tubules. Sperms have a life of about 25 to 40 days. Sperm production starts in boys at around 12 years of age and goes on for the rest of their lives. Normally, at least 20,000 mature sperms are produced every minute. Each millilitre of semen contains around 20 to 120 million sperms. In each ejaculation a normal male releases around 60 to 360 million sperms.

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘What is Testosterone?’

I read in a British magazine that the hormone testosterone plays a major role in the sexual function of men as well as women. Is it completely true? Kindly throw some more light on this matter. What is testosterone?
- Mahinder



Testosterone is the principle biological determinant of the ‘sex drive’ in both men and women. It is also known as the male sex hormone; however, it is present in both sexes. In men, testosterone is responsible for the development and maintenance of the primary sexual characteristics as well as secondary sexual characteristics. It is also responsible for the sex drive (libido) and aggression. In a normal man, six to eight mg of testosterone is produced everyday. More than 95 per cent is produced by the testicles and the remainder is produced in the adrenal glands that are located just above our kidneys. In women, about 0.5 mg of testosterone is produced daily by the ovaries and the adrenal glands. In women, excess testosterone can cause growth of facial hair, make the voice lower, and breasts and genitals to shrivel and shrink. It may also cause acne to flare up.

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Sexual Intercourse After a Long Gap

We are married for eight months. Whenever we have sexual intercourse after a long gap, my wife suffers from urine infection. We both keep good health and are quite particular about cleanliness. Why is this happening?
- Palat




Mechanical rubbing during intercourse can cause urethral inflammation in females. In spite of all the so-called hygienic precautions, infection can enter the inflamed urethra and bladder causing urinary infection. This is a common complaint known as ‘honeymoon urethritis’. Whenever there is a ‘gap’, excitement levels are high. This causes aggressive movements and harder rubbing of organs. An aggressive mechanical rubbing during intercourse causes this problem. Try to be gentle during intercourse. Women enjoy it better that way. Also engage in prolonged (20-25 minutes) and mutually satisfying foreplay. This will produce adequate lubrication in her vagina for an enjoyable intercourse. Lack of lubrication (which is likely to be either due to a lack of interest, lack of relaxation during the act or lack of adequate foreplay) can also be the cause of urethral (or even vaginal) injury and inflammation.

Monday, 30 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - What is ‘Criptorchidism’? How Does it Affect Sex or Fertility in Man?

What is ‘Criptorchidism’? How does it affect sex or fertility in man?
- Dr Kothaari




Criptorchidism i.e. Congenital bilateral undescended testes is a birth defect in men where both the testicles fail to descend into the scrotum and remain stuck either in the inguinal canal or even in the abdomen. In a human foetus, testicles are formed in the abdominal cavity. Just before birth (or shortly after) the testicles slither down into the scrotum through a canal (inguinal canal) in the abdominal cavity. When this fails to happen with both the testicles, it results into Criptorchidism. This can prove destructive to the sperm producing tissue of the testicle, and thus it is important that parents consult a surgeon urgently, if their newborn son’s testicles have not descended into the scrotum. When both testicles fail to descend the condition is invariably due to a pituitary or hypothalamic disorder. By the time a boy becomes an adult, the undescended testicles are mostly nonfunctional, resulting in a deficiency of the hormone testosterone, causing a lack of sexual desire and even impotence. If a man has only one testicle, he is still able to have children; but if both the testicles are undescended (as in criptorchidism), it causes infertility as well as impotence. The undescended testis can turn malignant, if left unattended. Thus, surgery is invariably the only choice of treatment followed by hormonal replacement. Criptorchidism is also often linked with other birth defects in a person.

Saturday, 28 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Sexual Intercourse Cures Menstrual Pains

I have heard that sex cures menstrual pains. Is it true? Does sex during menses have any relation to developing or contracting Sexually transmitted diseases (STD)?
- A. Nakti



There is no truth what so ever to the rumour that sexual intercourse cures menstrual pains. On the contrary, intercourse during menstruation can heighten the risks of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV/AIDS. Menstrual blood is a very rich medium in which micro-organisms can grow very rapidly. If a menstruating female has sexual intercourse with a male who is infected with an STD, she is more likely to get infected than during other times of her monthly cycle. In addition, she is likely to get a more severe infection when she is menstruating. This is because the mouth of the uterus (cervix) is wider than usual at this time so that the menstrual blood can flow out easily. The micro-organisms of STD can travel up into the uterus and fallopian tubes and can cause an infection high up in the female reproductive system. This can result in infertility. For the male, having sexual intercourse with a menstruating female is also very risky. If she is infected with HIV, her menstrual blood will be very rich in viruses (HIV).

Thursday, 26 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Postponing Sexual Intercourse in Teenagers

QUESTION:
As parents, what kind of messages can you give your teenager about postponing sexual intercourse that won’t sound preachy, or like you are living in the dark ages?
- H Pawar



ANSWER:
Most parents hope their teenagers will wait to have sex till they are psychologically mature and are able to have emotional resources to manage relationships. It is important for parents to be able to convey this hope while communicating accurate information about sexual health and consequences. While we may encourage teenagers to postpone intercourse, the present reality is that, most young people become sexually active when they are in the clutches of their hormones. Because of this, they must be prepared to protect themselves when they decide to engage in sexual activity. Information about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is vital to help young people make informed decisions. And parents can help their kids understand the value of selfrespect, assertiveness, and responsible decision-making in postponing sexual activity.

‘Everybody is doing it’ is an age-old pressure tactic that applies to experimenting with drugs and alcohol as much as it does to experimenting with sex. Encourage your children not to be taken in by it. Teenagers often say they have intercourse the first time because they are curious. Open family communication about sexuality can satisfy your teenager’s curiosity, and help him/her behave more responsibly while exploring his/her sexuality.

You can communicate to your teenager that anyone can have good intentions of abstaining from intercourse. However, to translate this intent into responsible behaviour may not be as easy because of the high levels of arousal experienced due to raging hormones. And yet one needs to remember at the right time the consequences of irresponsible sexual behaviour in order to practice responsible sexual behaviour.

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Unsuccessful Attempt at Sex

QUESTION:
I have been married for the last two years after a passionate-but-no-sex six month affair. In these two years, my husband and I have attempted sex exactly six to seven times, but because it was so painful and unsuccessful, it was a total turn-off. Now my husband feels so repulsed at the very mention of sex, also he says he that has to force himself to feel attracted towards me. I still feel attracted and turned on by him. His private area is a ‘prohibited zone’ when it comes to me. He is addicted to masturbation and he says he’s quite comfortable relieving himself this way. I’ve totally lost interest in relieving myself on my own. He doesn’t help either. He has also begun calling me a child-wife although I’m nearing 30. Please help.
- Manju



ANSWER:
It is sad that your sexual relationship is in a mess today. It seems that it all started with painful and unsuccessful attempts at the initial stage of your relationship. That has put your husband totally off towards you, as far as a sexual relationship with you is concerned. You seem to have carried the fear of penetration, which resulted in a clenching up of your body during intimacy, and when one is tense, the lubrication is insufficient, and thus the pain, which merely serves to reinforce the fear of penetration. This becomes a vicious cycle. Your husband on the other hand was afraid of causing you pain when you might have resisted, and his fear due to your apprehension kept him away resulting in his seeking sexual release through masturbation which he now finds as a comfortable outlet as he does not want to have to encounter your apprehensions and be responsible for causing you any pain. Neither of you can be blamed for this situation completely. It happened due to a lack of proper knowledge (sex education) on the part of both of you. Both of you were either uninformed or ill-informed about the physical as well as psychological (emotional) aspects of a healthy sexual relationship. That made both of you commit major mistakes during your early attempts at intercourse. This situation can now be rectified through a series of ‘sex counselling’ sessions for both of you. This requires a willingness on the part of both of you to attend such counselling sessions together. Do consult a senior sex counsellor as a couple for professional help. Strictly avoid more attempts and self-help. That may worsen the situation.

Sunday, 22 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘I’m Unable to Achieve Orgasm’

QUESTION:
I am a 31-year-old married woman. I am unable to experience orgasm during intercourse. We have tried ‘everything’ but have not succeeded. Even a senior sexologist was of no help. Can you help us? - Ashwini



ANSWER:
Inability to reach orgasm is quite common amongst women. Probably, it is the result of age-old sexual repression of women, forced by religious and cultural beliefs. It either stems from your own deep rejection of your sexuality, or as a result of a moralistic upbringing. A woman is as capable of experiencing an orgasm as a man. All it needs is her true and complete acceptance of her sexuality, love for the partner, a relaxed atmosphere, complete privacy and an uninhibited passion. In such circumstances, one simply discovers the technique to reach to one’s orgasm.

You say that you have tried everything. In that case you need to look into your own inhibiting factors. If you find it difficult to see them all by yourself, you may take the help of a professional sex counsellor.

Friday, 20 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - What are VSDs?

QUESTION:
I have heard a lot about Vacuum Suction Devices (VSDs) that is used to achieve good erection. Kindly give me some information about VSDs. What are they? Are there any side effects and do they really help?
- N. Reddy



ANSWER:
A Vacuum Suction Device (VSD) was designed to help men whose erections are not strong, or not as strong as they used to be, to enable them to engage in intercourse. This is a satisfactory solution for some men. However, if the pump is not used correctly, there can be loss of sensation, loss of penile skin, and even gangrene. If you are having trouble with erection, and this is a problem for you, I recommend that you see a qualified sexologist who can check, among other things, your blood flow. The VSD is only a temporary solution to erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is a treatable condition in a majority of cases, and you should approach a sexologist for help.

Thursday, 19 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘How does a vacuum suction device work?’

QUESTION:
For erectile dysfunction (ED), some sexologists advise a ‘vacuum suction device’. How do they work? Are there any side effects of using such a device? 
- Jayant 



ANSWER:
A vacuum suction device (VSD) is also called a ‘penile pump’. It was designed to help those men whose erections are not firm, or not as firm as it used to be earlier, to make it possible for them to penetrate the vagina and perform sexual intercourse. A vacuum suction device is a good option for men in this situation. However, if the device is not used properly, it can cause serious loss of sensations, loss of penile skin, and even gangrene. If you are having difficulty with an erection — and this is a problem for you, I suggest that you consult a qualified sexologist who can assess, among other things, your penile blood flow. The VSD is only a temporary solution to erectile dysfunction. Erectile Dysfunction is a treatable condition in a majority of cases, and you should approach a sexologist for help.

Wednesday, 18 January 2017

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX

An unhealthy level of interest in bed can soon land you in rehab. AT tells you how to deal with sex addiction

When Tiger Woods entered rehab after his ‘transgressions’ became public, detractors were quick to pipe ‘sex addiction’ as the reason. Years ago, Michael Douglas took treatment to get over his unhealthy interest in sex. And later, so did Xfiles star David Duchovny. And just recently, it is disgraced footballer, John Terry who’s facing the music for his innumerable flings, even as his wife,
Toni is contemplating leaving him.



Interestingly, the American Psychiatric Association does not list sex addiction as a diagnosable mental disorder with no real statistics to show the magnitude of its prevalence. However, its existence cannot be refuted. Like any other addiction, sexual addiction, too, can be treated.


ADDICTED TO SEX? 
As the term suggests, a person can be called an addict when he/she can’t control his/her sexual behaviour — even with strangers, or in public situations. The need for sex becomes so compulsive that it starts affecting the person’s functioning. Addiction to masturbation or even porn are aspects of sex addiction. In extreme cases, the addict goes against societal norms, engages in unsafe sex and can repeatedly cheat despite being in a committed relationship.


WHY IT HAPPENS 
Personality type 
Often, kids can be seen holding on obsessively to their toys. This may indicate an obsessive personality type. Combined with a dysfunctional family, lack of love from parents makes the child excessively dependent on material factors to compensate for the lack of intimacy. While that doesn’t mean the child, later, might turn out to be a sex addict, it increases the risk.

Genes 
Some times the genetic makeup makes them more susceptible to addictions.

Stress 
If under severe stress, a person may look towards sex for temporary relief — not for intimacy but for the momentary ‘high’.


SIGNS TO WATCH OUT 
  • Spending excessive amount of time chasing sex and preparing for the same. 
  • Continuously compromising on social activities to make way for sex. 
  • Feeling extremely dissatisfied, depressed, even angry citing lack of sex (despite having an active sex life). 
  • Dwindling sense of intimacy and satisfaction despite engaging in sex. 
  • Engaging in sex with multiple partners. 
  • Dependency on pornography. 



THE WAY OUT 
  • Set a time-frame challenge of not engaging in the sexual act for a particular number of days, or say only once in X number of days. This exercise will accurately tell you about the degree to which you are hooked. 
  • Find an activity that can replace the craving, and channelise your energy towards it. Let it be something you enjoy or sticking to it will be difficult. 
  • If you feel the cause of addiction is stress, figure out the source and deal with it. 
  • Seek professional help. 


NOTE FOR PARTNER 
Most addicts are known to live in a sense of denial. Hence, if your partner suffers from the syndrome, do not confront with harsh words and most importantly, do not address the problem as an ‘addiction’. This will only backfire and strengthen the sense of ‘denial’. Instead, seek professional help citing lack of intimacy and a relationship problem ‘shared’ by both. Use the ‘our’ problem approach rather than mentioning it as ‘your’ problem. 

Monday, 2 January 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Unsuccessful Attempt at Sex

I have been married for the last two years after a passionate-but-no-sex six month affair. In these two years, my husband and I have attempted sex exactly six to seven times, but because it was so painful and unsuccessful, it was a total turn-off. Now my husband feels so repulsed at the very mention of sex, also he says he that has to force himself to feel attracted towards me. I still feel attracted and turned on by him. His private area is a ‘prohibited zone’ when it comes to me. He is addicted to masturbation and he says he’s quite comfortable relieving himself this way. I’ve totally lost interest in relieving myself on my own. He doesn’t help either. He has also begun calling me a child-wife although I’m nearing 30. Please help.
- Manju



It is sad that your sexual relationship is in a mess today. It seems that it all started with painful and unsuccessful attempts at the initial stage of your relationship. That has put your husband totally off towards you, as far as a sexual relationship with you is concerned. You seem to have carried the fear of penetration, which resulted in a clenching up of your body during intimacy, and when one is tense, the lubrication is insufficient, and thus the pain, which merely serves to reinforce the fear of penetration. This becomes a vicious cycle. Your husband on the other hand was afraid of causing you pain when you might have resisted, and his fear due to your apprehension kept him away resulting in his seeking sexual release through masturbation which he now finds as a comfortable outlet as he does not want to have to encounter your apprehensions and be responsible for causing you any pain. Neither of you can be blamed for this situation completely.

It happened due to a lack of proper knowledge (sex education) on the part of both of you. Both of you were either uninformed or ill-informed about the physical as well as psychological (emotional) aspects of a healthy sexual relationship. That made both of you commit major mistakes during your early attempts at intercourse. This situation can now be rectified through a series of ‘sex counselling’ sessions for both of you. This requires a willingness on the part of both of you to attend such counselling sessions together. Do consult a senior sex counsellor as a couple for professional help. Strictly avoid more attempts and self-help. That may worsen the situation. 

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