Tuesday, 30 May 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - Fantasy of Rape

I am a 25-year-old married woman. Very often I indulge in a fantasy of being raped by someone. I read somewhere that all women carry this fantasy in their mind. Is it normal to have such thoughts?
- R.Shah

ASK THE DOCTOR - Fantasy of Rape


It is true that there are some women (not all) who at some point or the other in their lives carry the fantasy of being taken sexually or being swept off their feet. These fantasies are common but not universal. This idea is played up a lot by some western fiction, pornographic literature and even the mass media. It is important to note that there is a great difference between a self-projected fantasy and an actual rape. Fantasies are our own creation, and thus we have control over it. It can be a great ‘turn on’ for some, but it is not the reality. In reality, rape is a violent act, forced and unwarned, over which a victim has no control at all.

Very often it is seen that a fantasy is necessary when there is a lack of emotional intimacy between partners and sex is merely a physical activity. Therefore, both you and your husband need to deeply examine your relationship, either on your own individually, or with the help of a good counsellor, to determine what can be done to enhance the emotional intimacy so that such fantasies are not required.

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